Where Jaysen tests the patience of Mr Piggy

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Jaysen
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Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:07 pm Post

Mr Piggy,

We have a problem. A dolphin stopped by for a chat and pointed out that you have, contrary to the obviousness of the fact, scheduled NiaD4 to impact a specific homo sapiens' ability to catch and supply mullet to the local pod. Said dolphin requests that you reschedule NaiD4 to occur only during low tides, and on a non-peak day.

Don't shoot the messenger. Shooting dolphins is illegal. So you're stuck.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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pigfender
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Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:10 pm Post

I have less than four hours and still need to finish writing the briefs, so if you could talk amongst yourselves for a while, that'd be helpful.

Thanks.
"Some dice only have sixes." nom, 19 Oct 2013
"Piggy, I'm beginning to wonder if you are the best person to take advice from." Jaysen, 26 Sept 2014

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http://www.pigfender.com | http://www.novelinaday.com

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Jaysen
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Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:13 pm Post

pigfender wrote:I have less than four hours and still need to finish writing the briefs...

I kind of pictured you as a boxer man myself. And if you need advice, a little spritz of water and a hot iron is really all you need.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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Siren
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Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:20 pm Post

Jaysen wrote:I kind of pictured you as a boxer man myself.

Now I'm worried. Surely you cannot be imagining our esteemed NiaD organiser in his undergarments? Where's your respect, Jaysen?!
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Jaysen
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Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:36 pm Post

Siren wrote:
Jaysen wrote:I kind of pictured you as a boxer man myself.

Now I'm worried. Surely you cannot be imagining our esteemed NiaD organiser in his undergarments? Where's your respect, Jaysen?!

We're talking about Mr piggy here, right?

Now, I never said "I imagine" which would imply that I have constructed a mental picture which I have contemplated. I think, dangerous for stumpy people like me, the context of pictured is one of "assumed".

But i will give you the room here. One can not throw rocks from the comfort of a glass house and not expect to get cut by falling glass. I bow to you ...
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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vic-k
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Fri Oct 24, 2014 8:45 pm Post

Jaysen wrote:I kind of pictured you as a boxer man myself
Seems to me, that he's more of a 'thong' person :?
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

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nom
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Fri Oct 24, 2014 10:52 pm Post

Montree_Whiles wrote:
nom wrote:Plan #37...


Uhm, what happened to plans numbered 33-37?


33, 35 and 36 are still in play (another of Wile E. Coyote's mistakes was only implementing one plan at a time). With only 10 minutes to go, I think the best I can hope for is, well, 10 minutes. :roll:
Complete and utter NOMsense.
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Jaysen
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Tue Aug 04, 2015 9:05 pm Post

Now?

Ioa, isn't that a bit to much like "real life" for some members of the crew?

VIC-K!!!! You havn't stirred the pot yet! where are you? and don't give us any of the this sleeping excuses...

I'm still not clear on one thing, how do I get the cheezeits dispenser to work in scrivener?
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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vic-k
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Tue Aug 04, 2015 9:39 pm Post

Sorry numpt. Promised my 6 yr old grand nephew fairy story for his 7th birthday.
excerpt
In the dispatching of human, only two armlegs were ever called into use. To begin with, one would reach out and gently take hold one of the human’s hands, whist the other would caress and stroke the hair and head of the victim. Probably, on the third or fourth stroke, a few strands of hair would be plucked from the scalp. The armleg holding the hapless, evil human’s hand, could raise it to the demon’s mouth, and hold it there whist it nibbled at a few fingertips, sucking the blood flowing through the fingers, as though it were using a bunch of straws.

The armleg hand, systematically denuding the head, could stop for a second or two and very slowly, tear off an earlobe, or pluck an eye from its socket. The Runtaqui-likes’ skill, lay in prolonging the horror of the dismantling of the human’s body, digit by digit, limb by limb, organ by organ, without affording the sinner the merciful release of death.

To itemise the full extent of Runtaqui’s repertoire of exquisitely painful procedures, would require an inordinate amount of time and effort, so, suffice to say that they are extensive. One facet of the tormenting process that used to appeal above all others to Runtaqui, was that of slowly peeling strips of skin from various parts of the evil, screaming human’s body, and devouring those strips (as that evil human itself, might have consume hors d'oeuvre, in its pre-Hell existance, ), before nibbling on the excruciatingly sensitive, exposed subcutaneous tissue.


Seriously numpt, I don't have t' write :roll: that rubbish, so I have no problem. If I enrolled, I'd be faced with an imperative: finish or let folk down … and it's that, that induces the 'block from hell"

But you all have my best wishes, for an enjoyable, rewarding, and fun time on October 17th
Take care
Vic
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

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Jaysen
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Tue Aug 04, 2015 10:15 pm Post

pigfender wrote:Jaysen wrote:
Piggy, no comment on teams?
I actually didn't understand the question, so glossed over it in the hope that it wasn't important. That's a good life strategy, right?
Well... Mrs kind of takes that approach so it must work.

Teams: multiple folks writing a chapter. it was mentioned last year as a sub-NiaD. You were all "DO NOT ENCOURAGE THOSE TWO!" Ring a bell?

I'm going to write a bout space fairies undertaking piratical raids into MI5 confidential files in an effort to force US football (the oval type) teams to replace all linemen with ballerinas. That's my chapter.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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Jaysen
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Tue Aug 04, 2015 10:17 pm Post

vic-k wrote:In the dispatching of human, only two armlegs were ever called into use. To begin with, one would reach out and gently take hold one of the human’s hands, whist the other would caress and stroke the hair and head of the victim. Probably, on the third or fourth stroke, a few strands of hair would be plucked from the scalp. The armleg holding the hapless, evil human’s hand, could raise it to the demon’s mouth, and hold it there whist it nibbled at a few fingertips, sucking the blood flowing through the fingers, as though it were using a bunch of straws.

The armleg hand, systematically denuding the head, could stop for a second or two and very slowly, tear off an earlobe, or pluck an eye from its socket. The Runtaqui-likes’ skill, lay in prolonging the horror of the dismantling of the human’s body, digit by digit, limb by limb, organ by organ, without affording the sinner the merciful release of death.

To itemise the full extent of Runtaqui’s repertoire of exquisitely painful procedures, would require an inordinate amount of time and effort, so, suffice to say that they are extensive. One facet of the tormenting process that used to appeal above all others to Runtaqui, was that of slowly peeling strips of skin from various parts of the evil, screaming human’s body, and devouring those strips (as that evil human itself, might have consume hors d'oeuvre, in its pre-Hell existance, ), before nibbling on the excruciatingly sensitive, exposed subcutaneous tissue.



Careful Mr K... Mr Piggy may steal your story.

Mrs wants to know if you left a preceding digit of the age of your nephew.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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vic-k
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Tue Aug 04, 2015 10:22 pm Post

Jaysen wrote:Mrs wants to know if you left a preceding digit of the age of your nephew.
Numpty, tell that beautiful wife of yours, that if she wants to remain on the pedestal that I've placed her on … she'll have t' stop believing everything I say! :oops:
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Jaysen
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Wed Aug 05, 2015 12:43 am Post

gr wrote:Aw crap, I'm in.

Generally you want the crap out, don't ya? And if you're havin' issues in that department you can get help from Vic-K and nom's Maud in what's her name.

I WANT MY CHAPTER.

And I like the double un-tendre there. You need some parent-heritic-acles in there to really get up to the NiaDistic level demanded by Vic-k. He is quite the critic when it comes to proper silliness.

CAN I HAVE ONE WITH PICKLES?

vic-k wrote:
Jaysen wrote:Mrs wants to know if you left a preceding digit of the age of your nephew.
Numpty, tell that beautiful wife of yours, that if she wants to remain on the pedestal that I've placed her on … she'll have t' stop believing everything I say! :oops:

Mr K, you can no more remove the pedestal from beneath Mrs numpty than you can remove the wings from the angles surrounding the ark. As to her believing anything you say, she fully understands that anyone with your high status in my hierarchy of associates, should have all statements approached in full hazmat gear and a 30' pole.

CAN I HAVE ONE BETWEEN NOMNOMNOMNOM AND GRRRRRRR??
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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Jaysen
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Wed Aug 05, 2015 2:39 pm Post

pigfender wrote:Jaysen, calm down; you'll hurt yourself.

B̶u̶t̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶N̶i̶a̶D̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶F̶u̶n̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶N̶o̶w̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶ ̶

N̶o̶w̶?̶ ̶ ̶

I̶s̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶y̶e̶t̶?

Yes, of course. Sorry, Mr Pigfender. You are right in this as in ALL things. I am definitely writing this of my own free will. Noooo way this was edited by a Moderator.
Last edited by pigfender on Wed Aug 05, 2015 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: The power went to my head
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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Jaysen
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Wed Aug 05, 2015 5:10 pm Post

:cry:
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 24 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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